S [watching an OK GO music video]: I like that guy's cute face.

[This quote requires a bit of setup. The kids were playing with a walkie talkie set and someone else's voice started coming through, using the same radio frequency]
Mom on the walkie-talkie: Hello...random child...
C [in a different room] on the walkie-talkie: Hello random Mommy.

Me: C and I went grocery shopping to get a birthday cake.
S: That makes me sad. [lip quivering, starts to tear up]

C: "S, stop talking. You are taking up all of the quiet."

Dad: C, if we had lots of money, where you like to go?
C: The place with lots of Indian food.
Dad: India?
C: No, Mississippi!
S: What about Chuck E. Cheese?

**Bonus points: C is actually referencing a previous "Shit my nephews say" quote**

C, watching an equestrian rider:
C: How do you know that its a girl, Mom? (pause as she rides closer..) Oh, yep, I see... she has boobs.

After watching a clip of "Wipe Out" on the computer:

Guga: You'll have to show me how to get that on the computer at my house
S: It's easy, Gug. You just have to type in crazy dot com.

C: Guga, who do you go to so many races?
Guga: Just for fun.
C: Just for fun? We go to Chuck E. Cheese for fun, Guga.

My niece L (age 2) makes a guest appearance:

Me: Look at those pretty pink flowers!
L: Yes, because I'm a girl.

S, staring at a TV on mute: Um, we can't hear that, right?

S: (While putting together a puzzle of US States and holding Mississippi): This is C's favorite place because it has the best Indian food.

Me: How did you get that cut on your ankle?
C: Well, sometimes dirt is spikey.

(After all the lights turned off in the car)
C: (knocks his light-up sneakers together): Don't worry, I've got lights!

S: "I just puked a little bit."
Mom: "Where?"
S: "I put it back in."

C: "you just scared me outta the crap."

S: (playing play-dough) : "Grandma, all I can make are little turds."

C: "Christmas and winter are attached."

Mom: "Before school starts, I am going to take the boys back-to-school shopping."
S: "Maybe we can get New Jersey pants."

C: (watching the sun set over the river): "what's going to happen to the sun when it splashes in?"

S: (at Panera after singing and loudly): "why isn't everybody clapping for me?"

S: "Mom, my foot feels funny. It has sparkles inside it."

C: "S, you're not the sheriff of this dreidel!"

S: "Knock Knock"
Me: "Who's there?"
S: "Tree"
Me: "Tree who?
S: "I don't want to smell your face."